somedays,

i am my own eeyore. 

you know, sighing. moping. drooping. 

sighing again.

raining on my own parade,

like the rains i heard were not enough!

can't bear to hear myself.

so, i took it upon myself

to inhale in the pleasant

and comforting aroma of some tea.

add to that, the uplifting tang 

of some lemongrass i bought 

on my Friday jaunt

to the roadside farmer's market.

this is called gauti chai masala,
or, literally, village chai masala,
said the lady selling them,
crushing a bit with her fingers
and bringing it to her nose,
nodding at me to do the same.
she told me to make tea as follows...

.. and, as i inhale deeply, 

my fingers let the warmth

from the hot cup seep into my weary muscles.

 my mind is on mute,

my legs are numb.

let me sit here in lemony -gingery solace,

bracing myself for a new week

that starts tomorrow.

PS

tea. after a long time.

light profound, light sublime

    

Thursdays

are the day of leftovers. find what's edible in the fridge, use it up, wipe and clean if necessary. though, the last phrase is absolutely not compulsory. also, a good time to make inventories about what to buy, and, pointers at what not to buy. *tries to wipe away memories of the rotting things*

but, i will not be able to shake away the sinking of my heart at the debates, the outrage and the footage of a seventeen year old being molested, groped, humiliated by a mob! the sneering. the helplessness. the horror of it all. makes me think of all the times i have walked on the streets at night, for pediatric crocin, glitter, sharpener, eggs, anything i needed urgently early next morning and had forgotten to buy. 

could it be that i was not harassed, or molested or raped simply because i was not. it could have happened, but it did not. could that be the explanation for my safety, because there is no guarantee, not from the police, not from the people passing by, faceless, nameless, heartless. and, why should they or anyone else risk being another Keenan and reuben. of course, you remember the brave hearts, don't you?

the media has moved on. how much will i hold on to! so, after a quickie clean up and list making i am set for my weekly dose of the streets nearby and the deliciously hot and inviting breakfast after a robust haggling session and walk. tensions ebb away. the food goes into my stomach, the taste makes me giddy and there i sit for a good hour, maybe more.

last Thursday, if found two lemons in a huge plastic bag in a corner of the fridge and a recipe with just two lemons and six eggs, which was all i had. it was a sign and i take them seriously. it was the first time, i was going about a cake as elaborate as this. i was very mindful. and, it was so worth the effort, time and the decision to make it :)

PS

the recipe

it has bitten me.

this organization bug.

but, i can't tell you 

how much it has helped me.

and, i found a place to store glass bottles

and glass jars,

and, to use them creatively.

yeah, that up-cycle razzmatazz.

am now part of the bandwagon.

remember, that time i was ashamed 

to show you the inside of my closet...

not anymore!

also, one creative thing per week resolution

of mine - check :)

eating Nutella is yummy, painted them empty jars with kids is scrumptious, too

easy-peasy to find and match with what you're wearing

PS

you bet I've earned my coffee :)

it was

my son's birthday last Friday. there was a small kiddie party planned. and, like always, i was on it. but, in the run up to the party, i amazed myself with the amount of work i got done. it was not just the cleaning part, where unlike the past years, i actually sorted, arranged and organized. not just dumped them out of sight!

i was ready with the prep of the food beforehand. that is a first. usually, it is like i get chef's block or something. i am so worried about how the food will turn out, i keep putting it off till like two hours before the guests are to arrive. and, then brag about how i'm living on the edge and all. *shakes head*

the fridge is purged, clean, smelling fresh with not a single dish without a cover in it! the fans are wiped clean. all but one cupboard is sorted. no old clothes remain. and, along with all of this, i managed to season some mangoes pickled in brine. found cooling themselves in the far recesses of my fridge, where they have been for more than a few months now, i think. all this in the last four days.

PS

the burdday boy

clouds pregnant with rain

stifling the ever bright sun

with not a leaf in motion

perspiration sticking on neck and back

weighing down the mind

eyes searing the sky

hands keeping busy

heart bursting with frustration...

...

... and, the thought of an oil massage 

heavenly to the senses

but purge worthy in the humidity.

so, i did the next best thing.

made some light, soothing oil for the hair.

some aloe, camphor and curry leaves...

... heated in coconut oil ...

to make a lightly fragrant and nourishing oil for the hair.

    every morning, i used to wake up, boil milk, let the water for tea boil while i brushed my teeth, washed my face, put kajal and lip gloss, blinked at the mirror twice and hurried to sip the celestial beverage, the sweet milky, strong tea. and, my day used to begin.

    after my long hiatus in Kerala, we woke up really late the first morning, since we had arrived past midnight. we trooped to the nearby Mac Donalds for breakfast. i was kind of dizzy. it was hot and humid just like in Kerala, but i was feeling the brunt of it in the concrete jungle.

    ordered for cold coffee, and was addicted to it for a week. the husband was still drinking tea. despite making it two-three times a day, i could not bear to sip it. then, he was advised not to drink milk after a bout of indigestion. so, we shared our cups of black coffee.

    clouds are lighter after venting rain, curtains are dancing in the cool breeze, the sun is sulking and making his presence known. it is a confused weather, this morning. neither hot and sunny, nor damp and cloudy. the summers are giving way to the rains. it is inevitable. change happens.

    i changed. as simple as that. as simply as that. but, people around me don't know. my husband doesn't think so. only a part of me knows. the rest is confusion. my home doesn't know, it is a mess. i need to straighten things up. face my demons. evolve.