*sad*

a little before diwali, a friend and neighbor was diagnosed with lymphoma of the spine. her daughters are ten and nine and son, a month younger to my four year old. three sessions of chemo down, she has brain-numbing pain 24x7... had to be rushed to the hospital last week for she passed out four-five times in the night due to the pain.

i ferry the girls to tae kwon do class with my kids twice a week. they are chattery, chirpy, funny, until one day i mentioned their mother and the elder one's face clouded over. the younger one hesitated, uncertain  of continuing with her funny tirade. embarrassed, slapping myself in my mind, i stared out for the rest of the rickety ride.

more than twenty years ago, mom was bitten by a rabid dog as she waited for the the school bus on a Saturday morning. one of the other teachers, jumped out of the bus and drove mom to the nearest Military Hospital. my brother and i went back home to wait for dad who was not yet back from the morning exercise.

i ran into our bedroom and knelt before the Sacred Heart picture framed on the wall. sobbed and begged Christ to save my mother's life and promised not to lie and do my homework everyday. was shaken and i broke down again as soon as i saw dad, who went to the MH in the same jonga.

i see that fear in my friend's elder one's eyes. and, if it is there it reflects in the younger one's eyes. the elder one looks unto her mother. the younger one needs the elder one, too, to get her bearings. my heart aches for the elder one. her pleases and thank yous perfect, she never makes an excuse not to go to class unlike the younger one...her tiny shoulders carry such a weight.

hoping and praying to Christ that these six months fade away soon, the pain of the mother and the fear of the kids a distant memory, that they can share with each other, cry over it, maybe even laugh a little... for a long, long time.