get a life - Anna Quindlen

"I'm a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know. Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work. You will walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. "There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree; there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But, you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life! Your entire life!

"Not just your life at a desk or your life in a bus or in a car or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just you bank accounts, but also your soul.

"People don't talk about the soul very much anymore. Its so much easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But, a resume is cold comfort on a winter's night, or when you're sad, or broke, or when you're lonely, or when you've received your test results and they're not so good.

"Here's my resume: I'm a good mother to three children. I have tried never to let my work stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer consider myself the centre of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh.
"I'm a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean what they say. I am a good friend to my friends and them to me. Without them, there would ne nothing to say to you today, because I would be a cardboard cut out. But, I call them on the phone and I meet them for lunch. I would be rotten, at best mediocre, at my job if those other things were not true.
"You cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all you are. So, here's what I want to tell you all today: Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger pay, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm or found a lump in your breast?


"Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze at the seaside, a life in which you stop and watch how a red-tailed hawk circles over the water, or how a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a sweet with her thumb and first finger.
"Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Write a letter. Get a life in which you are generous. And, realise that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted.
"Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you would have spent on beer and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big brother or sister. All of you want to do well. but, if you do not do good, too, then doing well will never be enough.


"It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours and our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the colour of our kid's eyes, the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again. It is so easy to exist in stead of to live.

"I learnt to live many years ago. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learnt that it is not a dress rehearsal, and today is the only guarantee you get. I learnt to look at all the good in the world and try to give some of it back because I belived in it, completely and utterly.

"And, I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this: consider the lillies on the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby's ear. Read in the back yard with the sun on your face.

Learn to be happy. And, think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived."









PS

This was a speech made by Pulitzer award winning author Anna Quindlen at the graduation ceremony of an American university, where she was awarded an honorary PhD.

... No, I don't think there are any comparisons or connections with the speech and pictures. Just that these words give me hope, inspire me and make me thankful!!

Kasauli, Himachal Pradesh

Just back from Kerala where the rains had made eveything an emerald green. Took me back to holiday in Kasauli where I found lots of green and not just the leaves.
Sunrise School, which was seen if we leaned out of the balcony in our room, had selective shades of green.


The pine tree and the little bit of green on the church.

Even the people there seemed to prefer wearing the colour.

See, I was not exaggerating.

Striped door and a delightful menu.

Pretty buds, too.

A shut shop in the middle of a bustling street. The locks and the notices add to the drama and lead your imagination.

Seeing green from another window in our hotel.

Some more of the church.

Looking up at a natural kind of green.

The green fence and signs of spring.

Go green :)

falling dreams

Momma, what did you dream on (sic) today? asked Suhana, very proper at four. I dreamt we missed your school bus, said I, frazzled and scurrying in the kitchen, packing her lunch and filling her water bottle.

Momma, what did Abi dream on (sic) today? asked she, now staring doubtfully at her feet. He dreamt that he fell from the bed, said I removing her socks and shoving her feet into them the right way.

Not again, said she, wry tone and shake of her head. But, he did, really, fall a lot - at the bus stop this morning, grazing his sweet, soft hands and making shopkeepers look out in concern with his crying!

While coming back from the bus stop with his sister in the afternoon, he tripped on nothing (!) and fell. And then, after the siblings had some water, washed their hands, changed their dress, they decided to jump on the bed, while momma got ready their lunch all the time screaming at them not to.

Momma had to drop everything and rush to the bedroom as Abi had fallen off the bed, banged his head and had two little cuts on his tongue. Lots of sugar and cooing later, he fell asleep, no doubt, dreaming of falling, yet again!

PS
And, what did you dream today, asked I, while walking her to the bus stop. I dream that you watching 'pappu can't dance saala' song, said she.
Oh well. Sweet dreams then!

yesterday

Yesterday evening, we ventured out for the monthly grocery shopping to my favourite D-mart. I did notice that the sky had become a threatening grey and there was thunder rolling some distance away, so I (luckily) remembered to take in the laundry.

By the time the kids, me, husband, last additions to grocery list after frantically opening and shutting drawers and kitchen cabinets, water bottle, umbrellas, were heading to the lift, it was quite near pitch black. The three minutes in the lift later, it was pouring and husband volunteered to bring the car to us.

Out on the highway, lightning flashed, thunder cracked and traffic was slow. There was an eerie yellow haze beyond the hills lining one side and palm trees bending to half their height in the strong gusts of wind on the other. Again, I had forgotten to carry my camera!

I cringed, not because I missed a splendid photo opportunity - the little box of assorted biscuits was back at home, right next to my wallet on the dining table, where I'd put them both down before I took a large gulp of water straight out of a bottle.

I must, at this point, make it clear to dear readers creasing their brows and wondering why, I didn't just carry a bag. Well, D-marts in Mumbai and suburbs have this policy of making you put your handbag in another green duffel tote and sealing it. The said green tote is officially unsealed at the billing counter - best bet against shop lifters, I have been told.

Also, adding that this little ritual took some getting used to, for readers now staring in disbelief. So, I just carried my wallet, which is not put in another green (official D-mart colour) wallet, rather than have a bag (for however little a time) used by many hanging by my shoulder.

So, now, we were almost there and had to park already! Looked like everyone else had our brilliant plan of shopping for long list of grocery in the middle of the month to beat the crowds, sigh! It was still raining, water running down the car windows in rivulets.

Darling husband peered out and decided it was best for four-year-old-just- recovering-from-a- ferocious-viral-fever (not H1N1) and two-year-old-just-about-to-catch-the-same-virus-from-sister to stay in the car rather than brave the two blocks to store in the pouring rivers of rain.

I told him, in the sweetest voice I have, about the wallet resting at home and he gave me a look, that will not restore him to darling husband status for a long time. There wasn't an ATM nearby, actually never when you need cash and fast. Tired of looking at vipers swishing viciously at the water under the street light made the little one cry.

Not wanting to risk another 'look' if I volunteered information of a little box of biscuits absolutely vital now, I sighed and said we would come another day. As I swung with inertia at the sharp u-turn, I didn't know what was worse - taking a 35 minute drive in the rain, thunder, lightning to the grocery store or turning back, after having braved the unexpected rain storm , for fear the kids would not last the shopping session without throwing hunger tantrums.

Pfft, I sat staring at the wet roads whizzing by, occassionally glaring at husband, who made a quick call to a friend and got directions to another D-mart with basement parking. I could say, he was trying his best to become the darling once again!

Well, the grocery shopping done, we each had a cup of steamed corn, from a vendor down the road, in the car to take care of hunger pangs and drove back leisurely home, in the peace after the storm...

I call this art

It was teacher's day on Sept 5th. The kinder garten students were required to carry a rose each. Since I was sure my little girl would have loved to make something for her teacher, I thought of adding a hand-made card for the celebration.
As usual, I had checked the school diary a bit late, so, I had no option but to fold an A4 paper in half, draw margins and shade it using the daughter's water colours.

The next morning, I woke her up twenty minutes earlier than usual. She was as excited as I had expected her to be. She made little tulips out of two small squares I had cut the night before. They have been taught that in school.

She coloured one pink and the other orange. There was a sad moment when I refused to let her stick the hand-made flowers on the card. She so loves to use the "gloom stick," as she calls it.

She can spell her name and it was only befitting she sign her work of art.

all things wilted

the circle of life :)

there really is a thing as so much sun :I

by my kitchen window, stirred by a soft wind :)

wilted mangosteen, at my in-laws'

weeds dried and standing in the summer sun

these days

Our family grew larger one Sunday. The husband went out to drop some cheques and came back with a fish tank and a complimentary packet of little fish - very intiriguing to the two year old, who kept saying "fih!"
It was the first time he was seeing "real" fish. The wise and worldly daughter exclaimed, "I thought you joking when you said you buy fish." Aaaha, so this is what was conspiring behind my back!



After the whole process of setting up the fish tank was finished, we lay down on the bed and admired our handiwork. There is a pump in there that makes a soft gurgling sound when all is quiet. Not a bad way to relax at all!
There really is something about gazing at fish - you realise you spent quite sometime (oh no!!!) standing and staring and oh well, since all that time is gone, you might as well stare at it for some more time.

A fungal infection and three mortalities later, the fish -and whatever it is they are doing confined in the glass walls - are as captivating and fascinating as ever. All that is needed is a lot more time.

"I love pets. I also love fish. But, I don't want crocodile or elephant as pets, " said the wisest one in our family. Whew! Now that really is a relief.