what i really need to do. to take a step, two steps back. reconsider. words read long ago come to mind. when things around you are not going right, it is time to evaluate your thoughts, the why of your choices. there should be a better way to live than be weighed down by life.
let's get on to things i can talk about. like how i have started six books since last April and have not read through a single one. i start, get engrossed, one of the kids gets sick, a break of a week or so till things get back to routine, open the bookmarked page and ______. yes, blank. cannot remember the plot or it takes too long to place the characters that my reading time is over.
it seems easier to pick up another book, new people, a fresh story, excitement... then an impromptu trip to somewhere, struggle to get things back to normal and by the time i can sit back with a cup of sweet ginger tea and look for the bookmarked page, *sigh* back to square one.
there is never a clean state. but, to step into 2012 abounding in unfinished books, incomplete stories, characters flitting in my mind without closure makes me uncomfortable. sad actually. am challenging myself to get done with these books. might have to start from the very beginning, i am sure it will be worth it.
bought three new books, the size of dictionaries. while putting them on the shelf, all i could think was, if not now, then when.