Tuesday, August 11, 2009

and she walked away without a sigh or a tear

Two nights ago, I went to bed dreading the tough morning the next day. The husband and daughter were leaving for a short stay with the grandparents.

It bothered her that her brother and I would not be accompanying her. In the middle of making sure her little pink hair brush, her tooth brush, her pink jewellry box and her very own cherry lip gloss were secure in the large suitcase, she said, " A will be worried where I am!"

I made the appropriate noises and said I would tell him she was in school or in dance class. the look she gave me told me she was not convinced at all.
In the middle of deciding, very enthusiastically, the clothes she would wear on her four-day trip, she would hug me and say she would miss me and A too much. As if it wasn't hard enough being mindful of the business of packing without thinking of the days ahead, sigh!
Come morning, I whispered, "Its airport day!" and she was up and asking for milk. She brushed her teeth, freshened up, drank her milk and was ready by the door with her purple fluffy bag!
My husband reminded her to say "bye!" and after a big hug to me, she walked down the hallway and into the lift, without so much as a backward glance, without a sigh or a tear...

I sat staring at the computer screen, secretly proud of her dignity but my heart contracting at the ease with which she managed the goodbyes!
come back soon, my little girl, so dignified in your poise, containing your nervousness and excitement. miss you lots :)


Shalini said...

Aw, what a beautiful and heartfelt post, Shilpa. Yes, proud that she is independent yet pining for the little girl who once clung to you.

Makes me wonder how my mother felt when they dropped us to boarding school each year and we merrily went on our way to meet our friends.

asha said...

Flying away is always tougher on the mama birdies than the li'll ones. We think we are preparing them when in truth we need it ourselves :)
But then, enjoy your little break with a little less work.

shilpa said...

I was feeling so out of sorts those days, I hardly felt like doing anything.
oh! and you should have seen Abi's joy when they returned. I so wish, I had recorded it!

Shalini, I think she must have felt a twinge every day of your holidays.

Asha, yes, it is we who need the guidance and strentgh. so true :)