Sunday, August 7, 2011

amok

sure you must have seen the video on '29 ways to be creative.' its been on facebook since forever. saw it once and the points i can remember just now are...
1) carry a notebook everywhere.
2) read a page of the dictionary daily.
3) sing in the shower.
4) finish something... this looks comfortable enough to act upon :)

*some nights ago*
my kids can sleep comfortably on a single bunk. i look at them, so snug, so little... i want to scream (at myself), you mad woman, why do you expect them to understand... stuff, the ways of the world? why do you expect them to keep up with you, with those little feet, those little hands, little mouths and broken words and big, innocent, wonder-filled eyes?

*sigh*
playschool is over. i need time, energy and patience to sit with my boisterous four year old, hold his hand and, form letters and numbers. the daughter, has always, needed time and talking. despite things being easier wth her, she has yet to learn the concept of study time and that it is sacrosanct.

i am craving organisation and schedule and simplification. where i could sit anywhere, i find myself pushing clothes in the washing machine, sorting papers and getting them out of sight, giving away clothes and toys because the emotional memories are taking precedence over a saner today.

i log into twitter once (or twice) a day, facebook once in two days... am active on flickr and here because this makes me happy. see, i am beginning to like stuff on the basis of the happiness and comfort factor, rather than on their snob value.

gave away my entire junk jewellry collection to lakshmi, the maid's daughter. i now have some pieces of silver, terracotta and stones that fit in a little box. those hanging on the jar were expressly booked by suhana, for herself!

after the kurti, fashion trends have gone beyond my understanding. i have stopped caring and am beginning to cringe at some of those mannequins. i have started veering away from the clothes section and buying stuff like pretty tea towels, trays, candles etc. i have one shopping bag, one small handbag for local trips and one large one for travels.

you know what? i am over the hill. or, i am turning into my mom.

lunch plans
beetroot bhaji, lahsooni dal palak, fish fry and rice on the lunch menu







6 comments:

Shalini said...

Your sentence about liking things for your happiness and comfort instead of snob appeal resonates with me too. And don't we all turn bit by bit into our mothers? I'm growing more like her with each passing year.

I haven't seen or heard about that video...only go to fb once in 2-3 months.

Nice lunch :-)

shilpa said...

thank you. little changes i began noticing in the last few months :)

asha said...

Mothering two is really not for the faint-hearted. You are doing a great job!

"...or, i am turning into my mom"
lol.. I have thought that over and over again!

shilpa said...

you know, i always used ti think my mom is becoming my ammachi (nani)... and, now look at me :D

Srivilasica said...

1) You inevitably change into your mother even though you may not like it. (in my case, I am a short-haired version)
2) After a certain age, sane people give up following fashion and start wearing/using things that are more geared for comfort.
Ad, don't mistake me - aging is not a bad thing at all (as I am discovering). At the grand old age of 38, I get away with more atrocious things than when I was 28. It is great fun.
I could not resist commenting, darling Shilpa!

shilpa said...

too much!!
you toh are getting younger by the year :)

lol :D