Wednesday, August 3, 2011

silence

is not me. Filling the silence with senseless chatter, that is me. Despite the husband sending signals of replying in 'hmms' and less than audible 'hmms' and not looking up from his Mac book, I will still continue to tell him about what the maid told me about someone in the building that day.

A voice in the head tells me to shut up. I mean, really, what interest will it hold for him. But, I continue. Not to fill the void. We are quite comfortable with each other and savour these patches of quiet, especially delicious after kids and pets vying for attention.

Sadly, I talk incessantly to shut the train of thoughts in my head. Thoughts telling me to finish the hateful chores, thoughts screaming at me not to put off that phone call, thoughts telling me to accept that today I'll have to cook and clean, so I might as well get up from the stupor and get some food on the table.

Sometimes, these thoughts tell me to be disciplined and be done with the tasks so as to better enjoy the cup of tea. But, I suffer from a severe case of eating-the-icing-before-the-cake syndrome. And, it only gets worse if you don't have a boss to meet deadline for or someone to whom you are answerable.

*five minutes after*

... and, i ran out of rant.

trh aug4'11

tea with myself is distressing

4 comments:

Shalini said...

Oh dear, that is me exacto-mundo. I keep telling the husband all the nitty-gritty stuff about the day, the baby, the stuff, and mostly he couldn't care less, but I too carry on.

I find that in talking everything sorts itself out in my mind. I find solutions to problems, new things to try out and so on.

His mantra right from the start has been, don't focus on the problems, find a solution....and for me, talking about the problem is the best way to find a solution.

The photo is super-duper, btw.

I'm opposite in that I love to run around like mad, get all my work done, and then sit with a cup of tea.

I must say that you've really upped the level of your blog....each and every post has become very thought provoking.

shilpa said...

thank you.

though, i wish i could wax eloquent about why i'm so active on the blog now, all i can now think of is that i'm doing it before the next lull comes...

sometimes typing out what's bothering me sorts things for me. else, i have the satisfaction of baring my soul to the monitor and it can be as effective as a heart to heart, you know!

wow! i could never do that, that getting things done so you can put your feet up... at least not for more than two days :)

arundati said...

i loved this post ..... so beautifully written.... each word that you wrote... also... it describes me! sometimes when i stop talking, i realise my voice was like a piercing in the air....its still for a while when i stop talking... mundane stuff...and i battle with myself about why i cant talk of 'higher stuff'

loved the pic... whats in the covered basket?

shilpa said...

thank you arundhati!

that basket is my life saver every morning as i have to meet two school buses at two times. here goes in pencils, sharpeners, socks, ribbons, hankies, napkins, water bottle caps lying elsewhere... and as i was composing the shot, i wanted to add books i was reading. but, didn't look good so i dumped them in the basket, too.

oh! in case you're interested, the books are "Emma" and "Wild Swans."